'Where he goes I'll go'
3 May 2010, 09:34
By Hunter Atkins
Grace Ilibi has gone through a lot for the love of her husband.
She watched in horror, as an officer beat him with a pool stick and called him "makwerekwere." She dashed into a UN van to escape a hammer-and panga-wielding mob outside her home.
After nearly three years of living with her Congolese husband in various refugee camps, she squatted in the Blue Waters dunes, waiting for his release from the Strandfontein jail, until police permanently sealed off the area on April 21.
When Grace retrieved Philippe Ilibi, 36, after his public violence charges were dropped on Wednesday, the couple decided to stop resisting an inevitable reality.
While dozens of refugees accepted repatriation after the closing of Blue Waters, Grace and Philippe are now taking the first steps toward restarting a life in South Africa.
What is most remarkable about Grace, 31, is that she went through the refugee plight despite a major difference.
She is South African.
When asked why she has stayed with Philippe through so much tribulation, Grace said without hesitation: "He is my soulmate. I can't leave him."
Raised in Elsies River, she met her husband a few weeks after moving to Samora Machel in 2004. As they passed by each other, Philippe called out, "Lady, je t'aime beaucoup." That's French for: "I love you very much."
Grace sat in the sodden vegetation of Blue Waters two weeks ago, getting soaked in the afternoon rainfall as she discussed her husband. Every time she brought up her feelings for Philippe, a grin spread across her face, as if she was transported to a different world.
"No one was approaching me like that," she said of Philippe's romantic greeting. She married him a week later.
Creating a home life has been difficult for the couple since xenophobic violence sent them fleeing to the Zolani Centre in May and eventually to Blue Waters in September 2008.
The couple met a counsellor at the Projects Abroad Human Rights office on Thursday to start reconstructing their life. The meeting was as much about designing a plan for the couple's immediate future as it was a chance for them to vent.
Philippe's trauma has been extensive. No matter the discussion topic, he will bring up his tempestuous encounters with Xhosas or his frustrations with the South African government.
The counsellor laboured through Philippe's long-winded rants to motivate the couple to "take life into your own hands and don't wait for the government".
Grace did not dwell on her husband's trauma, saying their relationship had given her strength - enough for the both of them.
"Sometimes we argue over small things," she said.
"And he says we're going to face this together. No one will break us, our relationship."
The couple have found temporary quarters with a woman in Claremont for R50 a night and hope to find a home in Maitland.
Philippe said the first plan is for him to get him a job to enable them to rent. He planned to go to the employment office at Scalabrini Centre in Cape Town today.
"Slowly, slowly you find life," Philippe said, agonising over the thought of waiting any longer to stabilise his life.
Despite the task ahead of them, the couple said they would "soon" make their dream of living in Paris come true. With a smile streaking across her face, Grace said that before the xenophobic attacks the plan was to someday live in the City of Love.
"His mind is there," Grace said of her husband's ardent wishes to move overseas. "Wherever he goes, I'll go."
hunter.atkins@inlo.co.za
Grace Ilibi has gone through a lot for the love of her husband.
She watched in horror, as an officer beat him with a pool stick and called him "makwerekwere." She dashed into a UN van to escape a hammer-and panga-wielding mob outside her home.
After nearly three years of living with her Congolese husband in various refugee camps, she squatted in the Blue Waters dunes, waiting for his release from the Strandfontein jail, until police permanently sealed off the area on April 21.
When Grace retrieved Philippe Ilibi, 36, after his public violence charges were dropped on Wednesday, the couple decided to stop resisting an inevitable reality.
While dozens of refugees accepted repatriation after the closing of Blue Waters, Grace and Philippe are now taking the first steps toward restarting a life in South Africa.
What is most remarkable about Grace, 31, is that she went through the refugee plight despite a major difference.
She is South African.
When asked why she has stayed with Philippe through so much tribulation, Grace said without hesitation: "He is my soulmate. I can't leave him."
Raised in Elsies River, she met her husband a few weeks after moving to Samora Machel in 2004. As they passed by each other, Philippe called out, "Lady, je t'aime beaucoup." That's French for: "I love you very much."
Grace sat in the sodden vegetation of Blue Waters two weeks ago, getting soaked in the afternoon rainfall as she discussed her husband. Every time she brought up her feelings for Philippe, a grin spread across her face, as if she was transported to a different world.
"No one was approaching me like that," she said of Philippe's romantic greeting. She married him a week later.
Creating a home life has been difficult for the couple since xenophobic violence sent them fleeing to the Zolani Centre in May and eventually to Blue Waters in September 2008.
The couple met a counsellor at the Projects Abroad Human Rights office on Thursday to start reconstructing their life. The meeting was as much about designing a plan for the couple's immediate future as it was a chance for them to vent.
Philippe's trauma has been extensive. No matter the discussion topic, he will bring up his tempestuous encounters with Xhosas or his frustrations with the South African government.
The counsellor laboured through Philippe's long-winded rants to motivate the couple to "take life into your own hands and don't wait for the government".
Grace did not dwell on her husband's trauma, saying their relationship had given her strength - enough for the both of them.
"Sometimes we argue over small things," she said.
"And he says we're going to face this together. No one will break us, our relationship."
The couple have found temporary quarters with a woman in Claremont for R50 a night and hope to find a home in Maitland.
Philippe said the first plan is for him to get him a job to enable them to rent. He planned to go to the employment office at Scalabrini Centre in Cape Town today.
"Slowly, slowly you find life," Philippe said, agonising over the thought of waiting any longer to stabilise his life.
Despite the task ahead of them, the couple said they would "soon" make their dream of living in Paris come true. With a smile streaking across her face, Grace said that before the xenophobic attacks the plan was to someday live in the City of Love.
"His mind is there," Grace said of her husband's ardent wishes to move overseas. "Wherever he goes, I'll go."
hunter.atkins@inlo.co.za
- This article was originally published on page 4 of The Cape Times on May 03, 2010
Cape Town
