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#SexColumn: Anal sex – his not hers

By Time of article published Jul 16, 2021

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By Sharon Gordon

Ever considered anal sex?

Yours not hers!

Naught - I hear you gasp.

I’m not gay – I hear you defend.

Before you stop reading, I once sold over R300 000.00’s, worth of prostate stimulators in only 3 days. Granted it was at Erotica in London, but it was mainly to straight men and many of those purchased with their partners.

Our maker had a sense of humour. He put his inside and mine on top.

I am referring to the prostate (his) and the clitoris (mine). I have the additional benefit of a G-Spot but then again, he has a penis. I thought the penis was the spot and have spent a lifetime learning how to handle it with care. So, I was as surprised as you to discover two additional areas of pleasure.

The prostate is situated in the rectum on the front side of your body (a reasonable finger length up). It is responsible for secreting the fluid that carries sperm and has something to do with urine flow. It feels like a small walnut. If it’s bigger than that see a doctor.

This area is known as the male G-Spot and is pivotal in controlling and increasing an erection, orgasm, and ejaculation. The prostate and the perineum (the area between the anus and testicles) are the command centres for sexual pleasure.

One willing partner and a condom covered finger, plenty of lube later I was ready to try my newly discovered secret. Oh baby, the results were – a bit like Mount Vesuvius!

A word of warning for you enthusiasts, the anus lining is very sensitive and fragile so no hanging or long nails. Because of the septic nature of this area, one should always use a condom, even on toys.

Subsequent to finger exploration we have discovered a range of toys to assist with the play. There are several on the market so explore the Lola Montez Website for more details and watch our videos on anal sex toys. There are plenty of toys on the market. Strap on vibrators are slowly becoming one of the bestselling toys for heterosexual couples as fears and taboos are overcome.

Willing to try?

This is how you should go about it. To experience ultimate anal pleasure, the first thing you need to do is relax - so have a shot of tequila. A warm bath will also help relax the muscles and ensure that it is a clean experience. If you are anal you can clean the area with a rectal syringe or douche. A condom as mentioned earlier helps in this department.

The anus does not produce sufficient amounts of lubricant for comfortable insertion, so it is essential to ensure a liberal amount of lubricant. I recommend a silicone-based lube as it lasts longer. Try Pjur Original Bodyglide, it lasts forever and doesn’t go sticky.

Most lubes are condom and toy safe. The lube can be applied sensually into the anal area or directly onto the finger or toy. Take your time, the more relaxed you are the better.

The sphincter muscles within the anus do not allow things to pass unless you relax, and it takes a bit of time to get used to the sensation of having an object inserted. First time insertion is not comfortable but I’m told that massaging the prostate makes it worth it.

To help get comfortable with the sensation try placing your hand on your stomach and breathing in deeply, slightly squeezing your buttocks together as you inhale. Slowly exhale feeling your stomach and buttocks relax. Repeat the process gradually increasing the intensity. The initial sensation is described as wanting to go to the toilet, but it passes! For additional pleasure stroking the penis or giving a BJ is also recommended.

Now why would a gal want her guy to have a prostate induced orgasm?

The orgasms experienced during and after prostate stimulation are heightened and very intense. There is some research to say that prostate massage may help prevent prostate cancer. If you do it right the orgasm can be extended and erection encouraged.

The prostate stimulated orgasm is very different from a penis induced orgasm. He can have multiple orgasms without an erection with prostate induced orgasms. This ideal play if you suffer from erectile dysfunction and if the stats are correct many of you do or sadly will at one stage or another.

All good.

Will it not make him question his sexual orientation? Let’s put it this way – the choice in pleasure has nothing to do with the person you choose to love or have sex with.

It’s considered risky behaviour which immediately adds to its attraction.

It’s risky in that tears to the lining can happen which increases the risk of HIV infection or other STD’s. Use a condom – always! Erica Boyer said ‘Anal sex is not dirty sex but good, clean, nasty sex’.

One liberated man said ‘The thing that girls don’t know is how deep you’ve got to go – and you’ve got to go deep! And make sure her nails are manicured’. His girlfriend then called from the lounge, ‘Come and watch the Bulls, there is nothing queer about them!’ I guess I touched a nerve.

Another could not get over how much he ejaculated after his prostate had been massaged. I think the words he used were ‘Haba haba!’

If I have peaked your interest and now you are not sure how to approach the subject with your partner, here is some advise: Not on a first date!

Many clients have said that their partner would never consider anal sex only to discover that the partner is exceptionally keen.

It’s like anything in a relationship – a question of communication. I know that is a very girly word but if you want a grand sex life full of adventure and exploration you are going to have to show and tell. If she thinks worse of you and accuses you of deviant behaviour remind her that in the most advanced civilizations anal sex was practiced for recreation, as opposed to procreation.

Explore the subject during that talk about fantasies. Yes, we all have them.

Tell her you read this article, heard the boys talking at the gym or just give her the article. Confirm that just because you want to try it does not make you a moffie but that you merely want to explore another pleasure zone. If she is not interested, you can always try it on your own first.

WATCH: Anal play part 1 -

WATCH: Anal Play – final thoughts

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