Dry sex is extremely uncomfortable if not painful, the author writes. Picture: Needpix
Dry sex is extremely uncomfortable if not painful, the author writes. Picture: Needpix

#SexColumn: Why lubricant is the number one ingredient for better sex

By Time of article published Aug 20, 2021

Share this article:

By Sharon Gordon

I had a rare treat this week. I did lunch! Better than that I did lunch with two fabulously enlightened women who work in relationship or intimacy coaching. We have all suffered loss in the past year and I was happy that we have survived this far and could meet in a public place.

When we meet we talk about sex. Which is so exciting for those around us. It was less exciting this time because of social distancing. We did have fantastic service with waiters elbowing each other to serve us!

We chatted about how difficult it seems to be for couples to find intimacy and that the divorce rate is sky rocketing. The interesting bit was on a variety of interventions that can increase intimacy. Top of the pops was lubricant!

Lubricant is the number-one ingredient for better sex. They guarantee that your intimate time will be soft, slippery, and luxurious.

Sex feels better with a good lubricant, and there’s just no exception. Sometimes nature might not provide quite enough moisture, or maybe you want some enhancing lubrication to add warmth or tingles…

I wrote all about it earlier this year in an article called ‘Wetter is Better’ – you can look it up.

We also have a short video on lubricant and dry sex.

Dry sex is extremely uncomfortable if not painful. I have never understood those cultures that shame women for being lubricated. It is what the body is meant to do.

We got down to sharing tips about how to use lubricant in creative ways which included elbows, arm pits and the best hand job techniques. A regular rhythm is key.

One of our number suggested the grapefruit to spice things up. I was confused as I’ve never heard of the grapefruit. Generally, I am fearful of putting anything near the genitals that can affect the PH balance or burn. As you know this is just not sexy.

This tip comes with a warning. I have been guaranteed that this does not burn, that it is pleasurable and is tasty!

This is a trick to be used on men.

You cut the edges off both sides of the grapefruit and cut a hole through the middle, removing pips. Make the whole just big enough for the penis to fit through. Warm the grapefruit to body temperature. This works better with a blindfold.

Get comfy. Blindfold your partner and when is penis is erect place the grapefruit over it (you can cut the grapefruit to size because as we know not all penises are the same size). I believe it feels amazing. You can then add some licking and sucking while manipulating the grapefruit. And voila! A new technique.

The more I’ve thought about it, the more I think it might be a great idea.

I would also put a towel down because I don’t know if grapefruit juice stains! I can hear my partner shouting – ‘who cares!’ Clearly, he hasn’t bought sheets recently. And just like that I killed the intimacy!

I think that while there is a lot to be said for pragmatism it can be the worst kind of passion killer.

Being pragmatic has come with the virus as a survival technique and this may be part of our lack of passion and intimacy problems. Maybe we should be throwing caution to the wind.

Who cares if the sheets are stained if you are going to be divorced or dead in the next couple of months? I know I sound cynical, but I am surrounded by so much loss at the moment that I am honestly beginning to reassess what matters.

So here it is for this week.

Throw caution to the wind. Do it. If you want to play with grapefruit, go for it. If you want to ride a horse bare back, do it. I for one am planning a wicked weekend away and I’m taking every new toy with me. To hell with waiting for a birthday or anniversary. It’s now or maybe in this current situation – never.

The Saturday Star

Share this article: